First, Become Ashes by K. M. Szpara

Author:K. M. Szpara [Szpara, K. M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781250216175
Google: DczdDwAAQBAJ
Amazon: B0879GLMQ7
Publisher: Tordotcom
Published: 2021-04-05T23:00:00+00:00

17

LARK / NOW

I wake before dawn, long before Calvin and Lilian, but know the exhaustion that plagues me is not from lack of sleep. The Anointed do not require as much sleep as normal humans. We do, however, require pain and—I scratch my head—care.

I trust Lilian enough to sleep in the same room and ride in the same car as her, but not with this. Calvin … he’s different. He sleeps with one leg over the sheets. It’s shaved smooth, showing the strong curve of his calf. I trace it up to where his thigh disappears beneath the covers. Would it be awful of me to wake him? He looks peaceful, almost Anointed the way his hair crowns his head. Last night, I invited him into a ritual space. A circle. My magic flowed through his body and I know he felt it. Think so, anyway. He believed even before I offered him proof. And, especially now while I feel so alone, that means something.

I stand on the balls of my feet and walk quietly to the edge of the other bed. Bend down and lean on the mattress. I’m careful with my weight, shifting the bed enough that Calvin stretches but Lilian doesn’t. She snores—a welcome sound. I’m not used to sleeping in silence.

“Calvin,” I whisper. He doesn’t move. I rest a hand gently on his exposed arm—the one not twisted behind his head like a wild root—and speak closer to his ear. “Calvin.”

His eyes open. Come to rest on me. Stay wide. He untangles his arms from the bedding and sits up on his elbows. “What time is it? Is it morning?” He squints at the clock.

“No, but I need…” Even though I’ve decided to trust him, it’s still hard to ask. I need to open myself up to someone else the way I did Kane—and Kane and I knew each other for years before we became real partners. “I need your help again.”

“Okay.” Calvin sits fully up and wipes at the corners of his eyes before putting on his glasses. I watch him check on Lilian, who is sleeping facedown on a pillow, hair tangled around her. The position looks uncomfortable, but what do I know about how outsiders sleep? Their beds are extravagant enough to produce all manner of strange habits.

Calvin slides out of bed slowly and follows me into the bathroom. He yawns and scratches along the band of his underwear. I look away as three of his fingers disappear below the hem. Maybe I should have asked Lilian. I might not trust her as much, but at least she doesn’t remind me of Kane. Stars, this is going to be harder than I thought.

I close the door. “You trust me, right?”

“Of course,” he says, still blinking the sleep from his eyes. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Yeah.” I cross my arms over my chest and look at my feet. Our feet, really. The room is so small, we’re almost touching. “But you might still leave, or call the outsider authorities, or—”

“Lark.

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